Example Introduction

          Since the end of World War II, Canada has had one of the highest rates of immigration in the world.This fact reflects the concept of “multiculturalism” that has been Canada’s official policy since 1971. Multiculturalism is defined as “an ideal of equality and mutual respect among a population’s ethnic and cultural groups” (Burnet & Driedger, 2014). Many communities and cities in Canada have embraced multiculturalism as a way to enrich local culture by introducing novel customs and ideas. One well-known example is the city of Toronto, recognized for its diverse population. In fact, Toronto is considered to be the world’s most multicultural city due to a number of factors.

Exercise 1: Read the example introduction paragraph. Work with a partner to answer the following questions about its function and features:

1. Which feature does the first sentence illustrate?
2. What is the function of the second sentence?
3. What keyword is defined in this introduction?
4. What is the topic and focus of this essay according to the final sentence (thesis statement)?

Thesis statements need to be clearly written with a very specific aim. Similar to the controlling idea of topic sentences for body paragraphs, a thesis statement cannot be too vague or general. A good thesis statement for an essay is specific and clearly states the topic and focus of the paper. Every topic has many aspects, but you need to restrict your focus to one specific aspect. Compare the examples below.

Practice It!

Exercise 2: Considering the examples above, put a checkmark (✓) next to the best thesis statement.

Topic: Homeschooling

1. ___ Homeschooling is gaining popularity in the United States for several reasons.

2. ___ I was homeschooled and it was great.

3. ___ Homeschooling is not common in East Asia, except possibly in one or two of these countries.

Topic: The Olympic Games

1. ___ Many places where the Olympic Games were held are in financial debt and this affects taxes and country budgets for education, infrastructure, and so on.

2. ___ Hosting the Olympic Games can benefit a city’s development in terms of transportation, sport, and tourism.

3. ___ The Olympic Games are exciting to watch.

Topic: Biodiversity

1. ___ The biodiversity in Japan’s rivers is good compared to other countries.

2. ___ We have to protect species and maintain biodiversity.

3. ___ Protecting forests and coastal wetlands is essential for preserving the biodiversity necessary for healthy environments.

Topic: Antibiotic tolerance

1. ___ Bacteria that are resistant to current antibiotic drugs pose a number of major challenges to the medical profession.

2. ___ Antibiotic tolerance is a problem that we must resolve soon.

3. ___ You have many bacteria in your body and if you take a lot of antibiotics, some of these bacteria can mutate into “superbugs.”

The Funnel Shape of Essay Introductions

As described in the features of a good introduction paragraph (Chapter 6: Learn It), general information about the topic usually is introduced from general to more specific and ends with the thesis statement. This style of essay introduction is often compared to the shape of a funnel – wide at top and narrow at the bottom.

Exercise 3: Read the introduction below from the model essay in Chapter 5 again. As you read, pay attention to how the flow of the paragraph resembles the shape of a funnel and label the features.

Exercise 4: Read the sets of sentences below. Order the sentences so as to match the Hook → General Statements → Thesis Statement structure for the introduction paragraph.

1. Demographics and Social Policies

(a) Currently, many countries are experiencing population stagnation and even population decline as their demographics change.

(b) Population decline in Japan is now accelerating, so it is important to examine the causes and possible effects of this social trend.

(c) This change, in turn, will affect these societies immensely, including Japan.

(d) Few people realize that a country’s demographics determine its future social policies.

Hook ____ General Statements ____ ____ Thesis Statement ____

2. Energy

(a) Therefore, such countries need to plan their energy policy wisely and decide what types of energy production to provide for, balancing between alternatives and fossil fuels.

(b) Comparing two types of alternative energy production – nuclear and wind-power – can help to better understand them and determine which should be promoted for future energy needs.

(c) Modern lifestyles rely heavily upon electricity.

(d) Without electricity, cities would be dark, computer systems would not function, and factories and other businesses could not operate.

(e) It follows that since electricity is so important, relying primarily on fossil fuels to generate electricity poses a serious risk to the current way of life in modern nations.

Hook ____ General Statements ____ ____ ____ Thesis Statement ____